Travel 001

Guy on Plane to girl next to him: "You a Chinese?"

Roommate 005

1: This woman kept telling me that she was a paralegal and she was going to make sure our company refunded her money.
2: Dumb! Doesn't she know being a paralegal means nothing? Para = not!
1: Exactly...just like a paraplegic is someone who's not plegic, right?

P.S. This was actually Roni and the Romgi talking while making lunch the other day.

Work 002

Receptionist: Hello, this is the law school, how can I help you?
Guy on the phone: Yeah, I was wondering if you can refer a lawyer to me. I need a specialist in animal law.
R: What kind of specialist?
G: Animal law, do you know where I can find one?
R: What do you mean by animal law?
G: Well, I believe that animals are being denied their rights. I think animals should be able to buy a house, get married, and all that kind of stuff.

Work 001

Guy: So... is BYU, like, the only law school in America?
Receptionist: I'm sorry, what?
G: Are there other law schools besides BYU?
R: Um... yes, there are over 200 in America alone.
G: Really? Wow! That's pretty cool. So, if I, like, want to go to law school, do I have to apply to all of them?
R: No... just the ones you want to go to.
G: Thanks, that's pretty cool.

parenting 0002

It helps if you read in lines instead of circles.

Campus 0013

Why in the world are you living in a nomad tent?

Campus 0012

Girl 1: So, this construction worker hit on me yesterday.
Girl 2: Oh, so was he cute?
Girl 1: No, he was like 45 and pretty ugly.
Girl 2: So what did you do?
Girl 1: I told him I am a lesbian and that I'm getting married soon.

Campus 0011

Guy 1: You just date girls and then you get married, that's just how it works.
Guy 2: Unless you're gay... like my roommate
Guy 1: Yeah, unless you're- wait, your roommate is gay?
Guy 2: Well, it's just that he's really effeminate, and all his friends from back home are gay... and I think he said his parents are gay too...
Guy 1: Whoa... yeah, he's totally going to be gay.

Campus 0010

Dude, if you want somebody to kick your trash, my wife could definitely do it.

parenting 0001

A sad baby is a happy baby.